2 Years Overdue
Happy Due date, to my sweet Boy Jesse. To think that my life should look different than it dose is a whirlwind of sadness, disappointment, joy, and guilt. How can I morn the loss of a baby, who if I was holding, I possibly wouldn’t have the one I’m holding now. Sure there isn’t a guarantee that if I had Jesse I wouldn’t have had Lincoln he might have just came later, but let’s be realistic. Probably not. Someone asked me, “well knowing what you do would you go back and change it?” How unfair of a question is that? To ask me if I’d give up my rainbow baby to prevent the storm I endured. How does a mom even answer that? If I say no, it means I would still want to lose Jesse. If I say yes, it means I would “trade” Lincoln for his brother. The question is impossible to answer. It’s unjust, and boarder line cruel. How can you expect a mother to choose between her children? I had big hopes that this year would bring a little ...