Not So Due
Today was supposed to be my due date. Oh, how those words hurt so profoundly. WAS. Past tense, now a date that has just become another calendar day holding no meaning for anyone other than those of us who still feel the loss of my miscarriage. December was supposed to look oh so different. I had Pinterest boards of inspiration for Christmas-themed newborn photography, amazon carts of Christmas sleepers, fuzzy warm blankets, hats, and socks. Wish list full of baby "toys." All of which now just sit untouched, unused, and no longer needed. Idealistically I was supposed to be holding my first son in my arms, welcoming him into the world. We should be spending our days rocking in our chair near the tree as the wood cracked in the fireplace. I should be spending my evening preparing dinner for my family as my husband and son snuggled together on the couch after a long day of work. However, there aren't any cute Christmas outfits. No fuzzy socks, warm blankets, or...